Dear Ghosters: You Suck! 👻

Just call me the Ghostbuster! I ain’t afraid of no ghosts! 😛

Ghosting defined by The Skimm: “The word for that guy you met on Bumble, went on three dates with, and never heard from again. A new study says that almost all millennials are guilty of this kind of thing. Swipe right, date, disappear. Repeat.”

Sounds pretty shitty, right? That’s because it is.

Disclaimer: I will not apologize for being so harsh.

I am married and won’t have to ever deal with this, hopefully, but I know people who have. This recently happened to my boss, someone who deserves the absolute best. It pains me to hear my friends vent about someone they like falling off the face of the earth. It’s just a dick move and I’ll tell you why.

You’re acting like a coward

SCARED

You decided to ghost because you’re not brave enough to give someone honesty or deal with confrontation. You find that it is easier for you to just ignore someone completely. You stopped answering their phone calls and ignore their texts. You may have even gone as far as blocking them on social media and/or blocking their phone number. You’re treating them as if they’re some kind of stalker when really, he or she is a normal human being who is interested in you and you’re just too scared to tell them, “sorry, feelings are not mutual”. Grow a pair, contact them back and tell them you are not interested.

You just don’t care

SHRUG

Maybe you’re not a coward, maybe you just dgaf! This is even worse than being scared because it’s not fear that’s stopping you from properly ending the relationship, it’s total disregard for someone else’s feelings. You just don’t care to tell them because you, my friend, are selfish. You decided that you were not interested and are moving forward with your life without giving them the equal opportunity to do so themselves. You left them wondering, “WTF happened,” while you chill and live a carefree life. Uh uh, not cool!

It insinuates there’s something wrong with them

iNSECURE

When you disappear on someone, it could cause one to feel as though they are the problem. They start to rethink every interaction to see where they went wrong. They think about everything they said and did. “Did I come on too strong?” “Was I not enough?” “Am I not attractive enough?’ “Was it because I snort when I laugh?” Legit, people will think about every little thing they did and over-analyze it. Yes, this is something they need to work on within themselves but don’t add to their insecurity.

You may not feel as though there’s anything wrong with them, you’re just not feeling a connection and that’s fine. Giving that explanation right there could stop someone’s mind from running wild with self-doubt. If you care anything about other human beings at all, be decent to the ones you come in contact with, especially if you dated them, even more if they’ve given their body to you, you jerk! *Over-the-top eye roll*

You’re not creative enough to think of a lie

cant lie

Ok, so 99% of the time, I’m completely against lying. Do not lie! However, if you’re deciding between ghosting and lying, you lie! Let’s say you’ve been seeing someone and it’s not that serious. Your ex, whom you love, comes back into the picture and you choose to pursue that again and make it work. If you’re scared to tell the new person that this is happening, lie! Tell them you’re not ready for a relationship. Tell them you want to enjoy single life. Hell, tell them you’re thinking about moving far away and don’t want to complicate things. Tell them anything you think sounds good, if you want to save face. Use your noggin, get your creative juices flowing.

If you cannot do this, it shows a lack of resourcefulness and/or lack of effort. Regardless of what the truth is, at least you ended it and they’re not wondering where the hell you went and what the hell happened.

Bottom line is;

  • Know when you can ghost and when you cannot. Apparently, sometimes, it’s “acceptable”. GQ has a complete guide here.
  • While you may not have a connection with someone, think about their feelings before you ghost, you selfish POS 😉 .
  • Don’t be a dick! 😛

-D.O. ❤

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